Prank It All!
by Crystal Madness
Summary: AU PostHogwarts – After defeating Voldie, Harry decided to do everything he was never able to do as a child. So let the pranks begin!
1. 00

**Title:** Prank The World!  
**Pairings:** Various  
**Rating: **R (m)  
**Parts:** 0 of ?  
**Warnings:** Horrible amounts of humor, and a few spoilers from book 1-5. I despise book 6, so there we go.  
**Disclaimer:** J.K. Rowling owns all the original Harry Potter characters and settings. Everything not owned by her is mine. Except the Nicolas Flammel secret, that belongs to nonjon, and I asked nicely for permission to use said secret.  
**Summary:** AU Post-Hogwarts – After defeating Voldie, Harry decided to do everything he was never able to do as a child. So let the pranks begin!  
**Note:** After reading the trilogy written by nonjon, I was more then inspired. Though many of these idea's have been seen about I had to add my own twists and sick humor, therefore, I am! So, please, enjoy the show.

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**Prologue:**

It was a wondrous day, the sky was clear, the lake was sparkling and even the forest seemed to be glowing welcomingly. There was a peaceful silence that seemed to caress the very earth about Hogwarts, and no creature was willing to disturb it. Suddenly, the peace was shattered when a piercing scream tore across the crystal blue skies, scaring all the wildlife into movement. In the tallest tower, protected behind an magnificent gargoyle, the headmasters office was hidden. It was here the scream of pure terror originated from. Headmaster Albus Dumbledore stared in disbelief as the lemon drop he'd been about to pop into his mouth screamed in terror and begged for it's life. It took a few moment's before what was happening to fully register in Dumbledore's mind, and when it did, there was another scream, this one full of fury.

"HARRY POTTER!" Dumbledore bellowed.

It had started three months ago, when Harry Potter had finally defeated Voldemort in the most humiliating way possible. Promptly after doing so, the young man had disappeared, leaving but a small note for the world to read.

_Dear Wizarding World,_

_Sadly, society is much to normal for the likes of me, and I've yet to have a childhood all my own. So from here on out, I am taking a vacation, more then likely, it will be a permanent one. Rest assured I will be around, and you will know when I've been there, for now that the Prophecy has come to it's end, I can finally live instead of simply surviving. So I leave you with four words, and four words alone._

**Let The Pranks Begin!**

_Love, Harry Potter_

Dumbledore fumed silently, remembering the letter. Since then, there had been numerous pranks played through out the Wizarding World, leading to more then a few manhunts. Sadly, after a month, most of the manhunts had died down, people simply giving up and learning to roll with the punches. Hermione Granger, Hogwarts' Know-It-All Professor of History and Ronald Weasley Chess Master Hogwarts' Flight Instructor missed their best friend greatly and refused to give up their search for Harry. Sadly, they kept getting pranked every time they showed up at a place he'd previously been at, leaving them humiliated and going back home looking completely different from what they'd looked like before they left. This did not, however, stop them from taking over two dozen useless trips around the world.

There was only one thing Dumbledore could be sure of. Somewhere, probably close by, Harry Potter was getting the last laugh.


	2. 01

**Title:** Prank The World!  
**Pairings:** Various  
**Rating: **R (M)  
**Parts:** 1 of ?  
**Warnings:** Horrible amounts of humor, and a few spoilers from book 1-5. I despise book 6, so there we go.  
**Disclaimer:** J.K. Rowling owns all the original Harry Potter characters and settings. Everything not owned by her is mine. Except the Nicolas Flammel secret, that belongs to nonjon, and I asked nicely for permission to use said secret.  
**Summary:** AU Post-Hogwarts – After defeating Voldie, Harry decided to do everything he was never able to do as a child. So let the pranks begin!  
**Note:** After reading the trilogy written by nonjon, I was more then inspired. Though many of these idea's have been seen about I had to add my own twists and sick humor, therefore, I am! So, please, enjoy the show.

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**Chapter One**

Harry Potter sat in Paris, calmly reading through the paper. He was amused to read that Albus Dumbledore had been arrested for torturing students before they'd realized the prank he'd played on the old man. Apparently, it took one of the ministry officials trying to eat a lemon drop for them to realize what the screaming truly was. He snickered as he rose. He placed some muggle money on the table, before heading off. He'd had a wonderful idea, the perfect prank. He whistled cheerfully as he wandered down the streets

He stepped up to a lavish hotel, one of the most expensive ones in Paris and smirked. He stepped into the building then walked slowly towards the elevators. He knew which floor he was going to, and the room number he was looking for. He shifted his features to those of a bell boy and plastered a pleasant smile on his face. When the doors opened, there was no sign that Harry Potter had ever been there, and some random bell boy stepped into the hall way.

The bell boy headed over to room number 500, and calmly knocked on the door. He waited a few seconds before knocking again. Assured that the man within the room was fast asleep, the bell boy slipped into the room and walked to the bed. Grinning wickedly, he shifted back into his proper form and smirked down at the man before him. It was time to set the prank in action...

Several minutes later, the bell boy was back in the elevator, helping an elderly lady carry her belongings, when the scream was heard.

"Good heavens! What was that?" inquired the lady.

"I suppose someone found a surprise they didn't quite like," replied the bell boy, "The lobby?"

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In room 500, at one of the most lavish hotels in Paris, Draco Malfoy stared in horror at the sight before him. His hair was red. Weasley red. And he had freckles. Lots of freckles. It'd taken him a few seconds to stop screaming, but he was still whimpering pitifully. He had a feeling that the person behind this prank was someone he knew quite well, and he was terrified, somehow knowing this wasn't the end of it.

He got dressed, covering his head as much as possible before heading to the lobby, where he was to meet an old friend of his. He calmly stepped out of the elevator, scowling at the bell boy standing there before sauntering away. He froze when he found himself surrounded by several witches and wizards from the Order Of The Phoenix, "Stop right there Malfoy! We're taking you in!"

Draco stared, flabbergasted, before spluttering out a rather intelligent, "Huh?"

"That's right Malfoy! We're taking you in! Impersonating a Weasley to dirty their good names! You filthy-Death Eater!" was the response before a series of stunners nailed Malfoy in the torso and he fell to the ground, completely oblivious to the world around him. The bell boy that'd been scowled at previously snickered softly to himself before silently apparating away.

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Meanwhile, over in Scotland, in the world's most renowned school for witches and wizards, Headmaster Albus Dumbledore sat before his staff, listening to their lesson plans for the year. He was still furious over the fact Harry had gotten away with another prank. He sighed and turned to Snape to listen to his report.

Severus Snape, Potions Master and Potions Professor at Hogwarts, was mentally doing a happy dance over the fact that Dumbledore had given up his obsession with Lemon Drops. He detailed everything he was going to try and teach his students, from First Year to Seventh. He was about to start explaining the lesson plan for the Seventh Years, when the headmaster's fireplace roared to a lime green and out stepped Nicholas Flammel.

"Nicholas! Long time no see my friend, what brings you here?" Albus asked, twinkling madly.

"Hmm. There was a small rumor going around that you needed a defense teacher, again, and I figured I'd stop by," Nicholas smiled cheerfully at the old man, before popping a lemon drop into his mouth.

Severus Snape was about to say something, when a Ministry owl flew into the office and landed on his chair. It stuck out it's leg, and Snape took the letter on it before waving the owl away. He opened it slowly and read through it carefully. As he finished, he screamed out a series of curses, mentioning Potter quite a few times before storming out of the office.

Meanwhile, as Snape left in what looked like a drunken rage, Nicholas was snickering silently, and the other teachers were reading the note that had been sent to Snape. McGonagall was the first to start laughing, followed by everyone else.

"Impersonating a Weasley?" snickered Ron Weasley, trying not to start laughing harder, "Well, it looks like Harry's having fun again."

Hermione was staring in horror though. She watched as her best friends hair slowly turn blonde and his complexion fairer, his freckles disappearing. She opened her mouth to speak, when the door to the headmaster's office burst open, and Ministry Officials stood there with their wands out and aimed at Ron.

"Mr. Weasley! Trying to impersonate a Malfoy to become a Dark Lord! You're under arrest!" one of the officials called out, before stunning poor Ron.

As they dragged Ron to the ministry, Hermione looked up at the ceiling and screamed, "HARRY POTTER!"


	3. 02

**Title:** Prank The World!  
**Pairings:** Various  
**Rating: **R (M)  
**Parts:** 2 of ?  
**Warnings:** Horrible amounts of humor, and a few spoilers from book 1-5. I despise book 6, so there we go.  
**Disclaimer:** J.K. Rowling owns all the original Harry Potter characters and settings. Everything not owned by her is mine. Except the Nicolas Flammel secret, that belongs to nonjon, and I asked nicely for permission to use said secret.  
**Summary:** AU Post-Hogwarts – After defeating Voldie, Harry decided to do everything he was never able to do as a child. So let the pranks begin!  
**Note:** After reading the trilogy written by nonjon, I was more then inspired. Though many of these idea's have been seen about I had to add my own twists and sick humor, therefore, I am! So, please, enjoy the show.

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**Chapter Two**

In one of the Ministry holding cells, two men sat, glaring hatefully at the cheerfully waving Harry Potter poster one of the guards had put up. They were both there because of him, and they knew it. They weren't sure how, but they were determined to get their revenge. They looked to each other and in that moment, all their petty rivalries became worthless and unneeded. They began to plot, and were joined shortly after by Hermione and Snape. Ron and Draco smirked as they left the Ministry building together several hours later, knowing that Harry Potter would regret everything that he had put them through. But first...

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Ron kicked, he screamed, he bit, he slapped and fought for all his worth, but in the end, he was out numbered. He was going clothes shopping, something he hated more then anything. He had honestly told people he would kiss Snape if it would get him out of having to shopping for clothing. He was dragged through store after store by Draco and Hermione -Draco becoming a new member of their odd group after spending several hours in a holding cell together- and forced to try on all sorts of clothing.

By the time they were finished, they had enough clothing to fill Ron's entire closet, and Ron had learned more then enough about clothing, insuring that he was going to hurt Harry as soon as he had the chance. Ron looked down at himself, wearing dark blue jeans and an rather expensive shirt and decided he looked good. He was still going to hurt Harry though, no worries there. He looked up as Hermione and Draco walked into the room and instantly, a bold of fear when shooting up his spine.

"Shoe shopping!" they announced.

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While the newest trio was shopping, Nicolas Flammel was finishing his interview with Dumbledore for the Defense position, though it was only a formality. Nicolas was inwardly snickering at some of the questions, unable to understand why Dumbledore chose to ask such things. When the interview was over, he rose and grinned at the old man, "I suppose you will be calling an Order meeting concerning Mr. Weasley and Mr. Malfoy?"

Dumbledore winced as he realized that, yes, he had to call a meeting, if only to save himself that headache later. He nodded at his old friend before speaking, "I also need your help with locating young Mister Potter."

Nicolas suppressed the wicked grin that threatened to bloom before speaking, "I'm rather certain that will be difficult. But rest assured, all those Secrecy Spells he used will be wearing off, so it will be a rather interesting meeting."

Nicolas left before Dumbledore could say anything.

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Remus Lupin was having a rather unpleasant day. First, he'd been turned into a kitty, and now, he was stuck in the pound. He knew exactly who was to blame for this, and he was going to get revenge. First though, he needed to escape...

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A/N: I know I shouldn't have a note here, but I wanted to apologize for how long it stakes to upload. Life is rather hectic, and I'm running out of ideas. So, suggestions are more then welcome.  



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